Allegation of Ethnic Profiling Raises Concerns

Arlington, VA – Early last week national security officials here met with community leaders who have long voiced on-going concerns that the America’s national security apparatus is suffering from what some have benignly described as “tunnel vision” when confronting challenges to the safety of Americans.

“The world cannot help but see our efforts as single-minded and biased,” said Jasmine Moonbeam, the director of People United for Serenity and Security during open testimony.

As evidence of her assertion she waved a list of the United State’s most recent prominent figures in matters of law enforcement and overseas contingency operations against man-caused disasters. The list bore names such as Anwar al-Awlaki, Umar Farouk Abdulmuttalab, Abu Nidal Hasan and Faisal Shazad.

“Why are only a certain type of people being targeted by our government?” she asked an obviously unsettled panel convened at the president’s behest.

Not wishing to appear unresponsive to such concerns the Pentagon announced that they would end all policies that might be interpreted as ethnic profiling and would instead institute a strategy of randomly attacking nations.

The new policy has met with mixed reactions by the troops on the ground. Some worried the US would soon be spread too thin but others saw a different side to the strategy.

The Pentagon Situation Room moments before a massive bombing campaign was unleashed on Micronesia.

“Since they started this I’ve shot two Slovenians, a Samoan  and a some guy from a place called Comoros,” said Private First Class Justin Graffman from Spokane, WA.

“I never even knew there was a place called Comoros; so I’ve really learned a lot about geography and stuff.”

Gen. Bradley McAllister, the brain behind the strategy said the haphazard devastation would continue for the foreseeable future.

“Many nations of the world have long criticized our response to the events of 9/11,” he said. “I think it’s important for us to show them that we hear them and we’re willing to take affirmative steps.

“If they feel like we’re just picking on a certain kind of person for no particular reason then by God I’m willing to show them that America can be just as diverse as they want us to be.”

Asked if the new strategy had borne any results the general noted that many within the international community were far more engaged with US efforts than had been previously.

“They look downright anxious to prove their good intentions towards us,” the general explained, smiling.

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2 Comments

Filed under Foreign Affairs, Law Enforcement, National Defense

2 responses to “Allegation of Ethnic Profiling Raises Concerns

  1. Interesting concept. Definitely would keep foreign factions on their toes

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