Michael Jackson, Dead at 50

Los Angeles, CA – Entertainer Michael jackson was rushed from his home in Holmer Hills to UCLA Medical Center where he was pronounced dead. Within hours a crowd of grieving fans and plastic surgeons had gathered outside the hospital to pay their final, tearful respects. As news of the singer’s death spread around the world tens of thousands mourners held candlelight vigils where they sang hymnic reprises of Beat It as they dangled infants precariously off of balconies in acts of homage.

Though known for his iconic style and record-shattering album sales Jackson’s life was not without controversy. He was twice brought to court on allegations of pedophilia that could have easily turned into felony charges but when the singer, who had been born a black male, arrived in court looking like an old white woman the charges were reduced to the 8th degree misdemeanor of being a cougar.

At the time the Catholic Church called the episode “instructive” and immediately required all clergy that might come in contact with young boys to take lessons on how to Moon Walk.

Jackson and former football great OJ Simpson would later team-up to form a legal defense fund for disadvantaged young African-American males that would seek to grant them protections for predator District Attorneys by offering grants of celebrity status. The movement later became known as “Rap Music.”

An autopsy is planned for later to determine if Jackson was abusing injections of Courtney Cox-Arquette

An autopsy is planned for later to determine if Jackson was abusing injections of Courtney Cox-Arquette

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Farah Fawcett, Dead at 62

Millions of American males fondly recall puberty.

Former Miss California Carrie Prejean Finishes X-Mas Shopping Early

Announces everyone this year will be receiving copies of the complete Black-Eyed Peas discography.

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3 Comments

Filed under Lifestyles & Entertainment

3 responses to “Michael Jackson, Dead at 50

  1. Eupher

    It was reported on Yahoo that Jacko was in debt to the tune of about $200 million.

    He spent about $30 million more each year than he took in – no doubt on lawyers and teddy bears with which he and his “kids” could cuddle after they went nighty-night.

    In a roundabout way, Jacko was singularly responsible for the dysfunction (since when is THAT new?) of an electronic “clap machine” back in 1984.

    As a part of a musical performance in which I took part, I had to purchase one of those electronic gizmos that plugs into an amplifier. You tap it with your finger and the end result is a hand “clap.”

    Handclapping was HUGE in 1984.

    But the bloody thing misfired and the clapping wasn’t heard.

    That’s about the time when Jacko decided to seek surgery on his nose.

    Ya think there’s a corrolation there?

  2. Pingback: Blog Article and Video about  Michael Jackson, Dead at 50 « Bunny News Network - Courtney Cox

  3. We feel that Michael Jackson has left us so early, with just his music and our memories. Our prayers go out to his family. I love you so much, and never got the chance to go to a concert. I honestly think you

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