New York, N.Y. – David Letterman apologised, and Gov. Sarah Palin accepted, for the jokes told about baseball player Alex Rodriguez impregnating Palin’s 14-year old daughter Willow; but the controversy has not ended there. Celebrities on both coasts are decrying what they consider to be an assault on free speech.
“If we aren’t free to conceptually sexualize under-aged children, who among us is really free?” lamented Aaron Spelling producer of the hit series Beverly Hills 90210. “I mean, I produced a show where my own daughter’s character got boinked out of wedlock at a barely legal age. If it were up to the Sarah Palins of the world I’d be several million dollars poorer right now. Conservatives like to talk a good game about creating wealth but they don’t understand how money is really made in this country. And don’t call me an irresponsible parent because I made sure the script called for them to use a condom!”
Hip-hop star Akon was particularly taken aback by the episode. “I don’t understand none of this. All the man did was make some jokes.” Akon, who had vowed to leave the US if Obama was not elected, added that he hoped he might one day perform at the White House for the First Family. “Yeah, I think that could be some sweetness there. Maybe me and R. Kelly can do a duet or something.”
A statement released by Michael Jackson stated that people often misunderstand these sorts of situations but a couple glasses of Jesus juice often helped to calm the situation.
In other celebrity news:
Daughter of Sonny and Cher Undergoes Sex Reassignment
She was once known as Chastity–and not much about that will change–except now she is a he and he goes by the name Chaz.
“She just wanted somebody to bring her a fucking beer for a change,” said a family friend.